Monday, August 24, 2015

New Calling and Comfort of the Spirit

So, big announcement in my life!  Big changes and such an interesting way that it came about.

Saturday afternoon, I got a call from a member of my stake presidency.  Wanted to meet with me an my husband that night, if he could.  All day, I wondered what he wanted to talk about, if one of us was getting a new calling, and what was going on.  Kind of nervous all day, plus not feeling super because I ate something that I shouldn't have.

That evening finally came, and we met with him.  As we talked, he told me about the miracles that came with this call, not just for me, but for the rest of the people that I will be working with.  Eventually, after making sure that understood the commitment connected with the new calling, they asked me to be the 1st councilor in the Stake Primary Presidency.

The entire time we sat talking, every doubt I could have flew through my mind.  Even as I accepted the calling, I continued to have doubts.  I have very little experience working in the Primary- I've was the Primary pianist for around 2 months, and then I've been teaching Sunbeams for only a couple months.  That's it.  I've served in Primary for a total of 4 months before this.  And they want me to be a leader for the entire Stake?  How can I do this?

In addition to having little experience, I have no children of my own.  I've been around kids like younger siblings and lots of nieces and nephews, but no kids of my own.  What do I have to offer all these other leaders and people with so much more experience than I have?

And then I remembered a few things.  First: Who the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies. While I have no amazing qualifications, I know the Lord will guide me. As I was being set apart, I was told to listen to the small promptings of the Spirit so I can pass those along to the president.  And then later, as I was talking with Dan about it, he said I get a lot of those small promptings.  Not something I would have said about myself, but to have that told to me from two different sources, reassured me and helped me gain more confidence in this calling.  As I listen to the Spirit, obey those promptings, and act on them, the Lord will guide me and help me be effective in this calling.

I also waited for a confirmation that what I was doing is the right thing.  Often, as I'm being offered a calling, I feel the warmth of the Spirit, and I know the calling is from the Lord and it's what He would have me do. As we were discussing the calling, I waited for the feeling, but it didn't come.  I accepted the calling because I've been counselled to at various times in my life.  I accepted because of all the miracles that had happened in order to get this presidency called.  But I wanted my own confirmation.  It wasn't until after it was announced, after I had been sustained in every ward, and was being set apart that I finally received that confirmation.  I felt the Spirit tell me that this is the right thing, that the Lord will help me, and that everything will work out.

As I taught gospel doctrine over the last few years, one of the recurring themes was faith.  Faith in the directions that He gives us, faith to do what He asks of us.   And also knowledge that faith and prayers will not immediately be rewarded.  If every prayer was answered right now, we wouldn't have to prove our faithfulness.  Struggling with this all weekend was hard.  I had no confidence in myself.

But the Lord knew I needed to struggle a little with this.  I still struggle with this.  This is huge.  A huge time commitment, a big change from what I have been doing. But I needed something to change up my life.  Not that life has been easy or boring, but this will definitely shake it up.

What I know at this point: miracles have happened to get me and the other sisters together into these callings.  The Lord wants me here.  The Lord will support us and give us what we need in order to help the children and leaders we will be serving.  It might not be easy- it definitely won't be easy, but it will be worth it if we help any child, or a leader, grow closer to Christ.  These points outweigh any insecurities I may have.

As I trust in the Lord, He will give me whatever I need to succeed in this calling.  I love the Lord and am looking forward to serving Him.


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I've been Glutened! What Happens When I Eat Wheat

So, one of the biggest questions I get after saying I'm gluten free is "What happens when you eat it?"  Since I got "gluten-ed" (ate something with wheat in it) today, I figured it was a good time to talk about it!

After feeling the effects of it, it makes me wonder how I ever lived with it all the time before.  I'm not completely sick (only had a very limited exposure to it today) and even when I have a lot, I've never actually puked from eating gluten.  But with what I'm experiencing today, and knowing that I felt like this often before, makes me realize how hard it was for me to function at 100% all the time.  And no wonder I was tired and withdrawn a lot.

Anyways, here is what I feel after I eat gluten.  Many of these are fairly typical for people with allergies to wheat/gluten.

Headaches.  For me this is one of the biggest signs that I've been gluten-ed.  I used to have them ALL THE TIME.  Right now if fairly mild, but I would get migraines frequently before I switched.  And when I do get gluten-ed, they tend to linger longer than the other symptoms.  Sometimes, kind of associated with this is light sensitivity and vision issues.

Brain fog, or what I call "The Dumbs."  I have a hard time concentrating on any one thing, I get easily distracted, short term memory is slightly impaired.  Putting enough thoughts together to write this is stretching the limits of my mental capacity at the moment.  I tend to like to talk a lot, but I ramble or switch topics quickly.  Be glad for spell check- it's a good thing you can't see all my mistakes as I'm typing.  This usually lasts for 24-48 hours after.

Digestive issues.  I tend to feel tight, painful, and/or uncomfortable in my lower abdomen (intestines area), with the other lovely issues of gas, diarrhea, or constipation.  I'll feel slightly nauseous, and go back and forth between starving and not wanting anything to eat.  Loads of fun. This lasts about 24 hours or so.

Acne.  I'll break out afterwards, plus my skin will take longer to heal for a while after.  This effect lingers.

Aches and pains.  For me, these center in my hands (I'll have lovely arthritis one day), back, hips and sometimes knees.  Makes it hard to want to exercise when you hurt.  This clears up quickly when I avoid gluten, though.

Sometimes I get shaky, but this is rarer.  This is the more extreme cases, plus comes with ALL the others.  If I'm shaky, get me protein, water, and sleep, in that order.

Anyways, that's what happens when I eat gluten.  I know there's other symptoms, but that's what I get.  Since going gluten-free, head-aches are rare, digestive has settled down, acne has cleared (except for hormonal flares), and aches disappeared.  It's been much nicer.

Now I just need to convince myself I really can do sugar-free.  Permanently.  Sigh...

Saturday, November 15, 2014

What Brings You Joy? Musings From My Life

So, Tuesday was Staff Development Day at the City Library.  We close all the libraries in the system, everyone gathers at Main in downtown Salt Lake, and we have fun!  There's speeches, workshops, lunch, snacks, massages (ahhhh...) and just a great chance to see everyone in the system that you usually don't get a chance to see.  Most years I have a pretty good time, and this year they did a great job.

One of the workshops I went to was about mindfulness and mediation.  We had a presenter from a local center with degrees in stuff (very technical there, I know) and she was great at leading the group in various exercises (short meditations for the most part) and educating us on being more mindful of ourselves, our emotions and feelings, and our surroundings.  I really enjoyed the class, the chance to slow down, calm down, and connect with myself, find my inner peace.  I know it sounds kind of cheesy, but I really enjoyed it and hope to incorporate meditation into my days.

One exercise that really made me think was one where we asked another person "What brings you joy?", listened to them, and then thanked them for sharing, then repeated the question.  There wasn't any more conversation than that, and after a minute we switched roles, the other person asking instead.  I was surprised that I ran out of things that brought me joy!  I thought of several things right away, but then had to think a little deeper, later though of more things that bring me joy.

Many of these things mean a lot to me, so thought I would share them with you! Here's a list of things that bring me joy!

First: my religion.  Many other things that bring me joy mean even more to me because of my religion.  I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I believe in God as our Heavenly Father.  I believe in Christ and His Atonement.  I believe there is so much more to our existence than just this life that we live right now.  We will continue after death, which makes my relationships with family and friends even more precious to me.  Because of my faith, I served a mission which helped shape my life and who I am today.

The next thing that brings me joy- my husband.  He has been a light in my life.  He make me laugh, holds me when I feel bad, makes me feel so loved.  He makes the silliest sounds (one day he made me believe a bird was chirping back and forth with me), supports me, encourages me to be the best I can be.  He makes it worth getting up in the morning, even though it's cold outside (brrrrr).  Above all, he loves me despite mistakes I make, despite my shortcomings.  He brings me presents.  Right now, I can't think of anything else in my life that makes me happier.  Knowing that I will be with him forever, through the sealing ordinance of the temple, brings me such joy it overflows.

Connected with that, the next thing that brings me joy is my family.  Again, they encourage me, make me a better person, boost me up, and are there for me whenever I need them.  My best memories are always with family, whether mine or Dan's.  Family reunions and camping trips are the highlight of our summers!

Another big thing in my life that means a lot to me and brings me joy and happiness: music.  It lifts me up, gives me answers to prayers, strengthens my testimony of Christ, and sometimes it's just plain fun.  I am so grateful for my musical talents, a mother that taught me how to play from a young age, and being surrounded by many great musicians.  I love listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and lots of other people too!  Music can take a bad day and turn it into a great day.

Something else that brings me joy- nature.  I love seeing the beauty in the world around us.  I love the mountains, forests, oceans, streams, meadows, flowers, trees, clouds, everything!  I feel humbled the God created this world for us.  And it's not plain, it's beautiful.  I am so lucky to live in Utah, where we have majestic mountains, lakes and rivers, cliffs, meadows, red rock, deserts, and more.  I find beauty and joy in everything from water droplets on pine needles to clouds at sunset and trees so big that the camera can't capture their size.  I love how flowers can be intricate or simple.

Along with this, I love taking photography of the beauty in nature.  I love it when I capture that moment perfectly.  My memory fades, but these photos are great reminders of what I see, and I can share them with everyone around me!  Sharing that beauty brings me joy.

A random thing that make me happy and brings me joy- being crafty and creative.  I love to quilt, cross stitch, crochet and pretty much make something from nothing.  I cut up fabric, sew it together, just to cut it again and sew it again!  Creating patterns with color, a little duck made of yarn, a picture from tons of little stitches, seeing something coming from chaos- this brings me joy.

Another thing that brings me joy- working!  Especially in the library. I love feeling productive, like I make a difference. When someone asks for a recommendation and I help them find something and they read it and love it, it's fantastic!  When I help someone find the solution to a problem, or a book that they need, I love it.  Helping people is one of the best things about my job.  And some days, just having a job, even if it's not ideal, is so much better than the alternative.

One last thing that brings me joy- teaching.  I teach a Gospel Doctrine class in my ward (an adult class where we study the scriptures).  I love teaching this class.  Most the time, I try to find ways to make it more of a discussion, not just me lecturing.  But being there, leading the discussion, sharing my testimony, hopefully helping other strengthen their testimonies, I love it.  Having a chance to share my love of the gospel, my love of the scriptures, my gratitude for Christ, it brings me joy every time, even if I stress about it too!

Making this list, I've started to wonder why I don't spend more time doing those things that bring me joy.  I spend way too much time on Facebook, or doing things that don't really matter.  That mindfulness session has helped me reevaluate my life, even though it was just this little presentation at the library.  Once again, the Lord watches out for me, helps direct my life.  Ever since I saw this session was being offered, I knew I wanted to attend.

I want to spend more time pursuing those things that bring me joy!  I want more joy in my life!  Finding joy despite the hard times, despite how crazy the world is around us, this will make a difference in our lives- improve them and make us happier people.  Hard times will be there, struggles will come.  But if we pursue joy in the right places, in things that matter, we will be happy.

What brings you joy?  I want to know!

New Job for Brenda! Hooray!

Finally, so good news in the job hunt!  I basically walked into a job near the end of October.  Wow!  It made me feel so blessed just because of all the timing involved.  I know that my Heavenly Father looks out for me!

Anyways here's the story behind the job:

On October 30th, I finally decided to take some books to a little used book store in Bountiful that I liked.  They had sat in a bag in my front room for months!   I had pulled them months ago, knew I wanted to take them back, and they had just sat there.  On that Thursday, and for a few days before, I had really urged from within to get more organized, de-clutter some stuff, and just get rid of unneeded items.  So, I picked up the bag, got in my car and drove up to Bountiful.

When I got there, I gave them to the girl at the desk, and started browsing while they processed my credit.  While I was looking, I heard the people at the desk talking about how a person had just left, without warning, and how they were adjusting without her.  I let them finish their little conversation, went to check on my books, and happened to ask, kind of flippantly, "Are you hiring?", wondering if they were looking for holiday help.

They said yes, but not just holiday- they were looking for someone to work part-time permanently, not just the holidays.  I told them I was interested, asked if they had an application, they asked if I had a resume.  I said I could bring one by the next day, but I was a librarian plus had retail experience.  They became very interested at that point, which made me excited.  They asked if I could come in the next day to do a trial run, see if I fit in the group and if I really knew my stuff.

The next day was Halloween, and they invited me to dress up.  I had the stuff from a couple years ago when I was Madame Trelany from the Harry Potter series.  Used that as my costume (bonus points for it being a literary character!), and went in for a couple hours.   They showed me around, had me do a few things on the computer taking a few books, and just making sure I really could do this job.  By the end of the day, they had offered me a job!  HOORAY!

I've been there several times now, mostly shelving books, helping them catch up on that, organizing as they shift their collection around.  They are super grateful that I like shelving and that I'm fast at it. Who knew those years shelving would come back and help me now!

Just in case you want to come visit (or want to trade in some books), I now work at the Book Garden in Bountiful.  It's on Main Street in downtown Bountiful, only about 15 minutes from home.  Click here to go to their site, and you can find them on Facebook too!  Come see me!

The way I found this job makes me know that God was watching out for me.  I had that bag for months before I was urged to go in.  They had just had a person leave, they needed someone with my experience, and I just happen to be there to overhear that conversation.  All of those influences meeting together at exactly the right time could not have happened on their own.  I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father that watches out for me, helps direct me, and gives me hope when I need it.  I love Him and am so grateful to have His guidance in my life!  #imamormon

Friday, October 24, 2014

Oatmeal Cookies- Gluten Free and Refined Sugar Free!

So, after over a week of sugar free, I finally broke down and made sugar free cookies last night.  My husband Dan and I were watching a movie, both had the munchies and wanted a little something.  We had no ice cream (not that I could have had any), or anything else really that sounded good.  So, I made some cookies! 
Sugar Free Gluten Free Oatmeal Cookies!  Yum!
These were super easy to make!  I had a couple recipes from a friend to try out- including Oatmeal Cookies.  These were great!  I made a couple changes to the recipe, depending on what I had at home.  Hope you like them too!

Oatmeal Cookies- Gluten Free, Sugar Free
Yield: about 15 cookies

1/3 c. + 1 T butter or shortening (I used tub butter)
1/3 c. + 1 T honey
1 egg
1 t. vanilla
1/2 c. gluten free flour (I used a mix of rice, tapioca, and cornstarch)
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. baking soda
dash of cloves
1/2 t. xanthan gum
1/2 c. raisins
1 1/2 c. gluten free quick oats

Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease your cookie sheet.

Mix together butter and honey, until well blended.  Add egg and vanilla: mix until everything is binding together.

Add the flour, salt, cinnamon, baking soda, and cloves.  Carefully mix until blended.  Fold in oats and raisins.  Mix until just combined.

Drop by large tablespoon full onto the greased cookie sheet.  I got about 15 cookies out of this recipe. Bake at 350 for 12 minutes or until lightly browned.  Remove immediately onto a cooling rack.

These were fabulous warm!  And the next day.  Got a little crumbly, but still super yummy!

Next time I make them, I want to do add in chocolate chips and craisins, but I know those usually have added sugars, so I will be careful what I add.  Also, the original recipe had a little molasses, and I definitely want to try that too!  I was just out last night.  

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Sugar Free: Week One is Done!

So, been doing sugar free for about a week now.  It's actually been much easier than I thought it would be!  I even visited family and managed to not eat any sugar there!  Hooray!

I really think that it helps that I'm gluten free as well, and been doing that for the last 8 months or so.  Already having cut one thing out of my diet, and a major thing at that, I was more prepared and knew what to expect.  I haven't been perfect (I'm pretty sure my bread has sugar in it, plus I had some fruit that was in light syrup, not juice), but just avoiding sugary treats has been my major focus.

Things I have avoiding:

  • Soda or pop of any kind (not too hard, I don't drink much anyways)
  • Candy and candy bars
  • Ice Cream
  • Cookies, cakes, sweet breads (like zucchini or banana bread)
  • Chocolate (sigh)


Things I can eat!

  • Fruit!  Lots of fruit!  Mostly fresh fruit, or fruit I have frozen myself.  I have had some canned fruit, and try to do in fruit juice, not syrup.
  • Veggies!
  • Honey- gives me the sweetness I crave without the drawbacks of refined sugars.  I've used it in fairly limited doses- a drizzle on toast or on my oatmeal.
  • Protein- this has been fantastic.  
  • Lots of water!  I think my body has been thirsty forever, and I misinterpreted thirst for desiring sugar.
  • Peanut butter.  Watch your peanut butter- look for one that is just peanuts and salt- no fillers or sugar!  
  • Cheese- yum!
Overall, this has been fairly successful!  I have felt pretty good.  Light headaches a couple times, but I think I can trace those to other sources, not just sugar crashes/cravings.  A couple times I've had cravings, but as soon as I feed myself something else, the craving goes away. Biggest indication of success for me- I've lost weight!  And not just a pound, I have lost over 4 pounds in a week! Holy cow!  I'm fairly sure that this trend will not continue at that drastic of a rate, but it is so nice to see something happen.  Fantastic!  Even eating late at night this entire week, I have lost.  Hooray!

Favorite snack I've done this week that's refined sugar free (this totally saved me one night that I was starving and craving sugar to the max):

Easy Yogurt Dip:

2 Tablespoons plain yogurt (not vanilla, PLAIN!  No added sugars!)
2 Tablespoons peanut butter (make sure no added sugars)
dash of cinnamon
drizzle of honey
Apple slices (or other fruit!  Would probably go well with pears, celery sticks, berries...)

Mix together yogurt, peanut butter, cinnamon and honey.  That easy!  Serve with fruit!  YUM!

  


Thursday, October 16, 2014

Sugar Free! Tips and My Progress

So, been doing sugar free for about 3 days now, and it oddly hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be.  Yes, I still have cravings, but feeding them with the fruits instead of sugar has been a lot better.  I did get some Stevia to help where needed, but haven't opened it yet since I just got it yesterday. So far, I haven't been excessively picky- I'm still using the same ketchup which I know has sugar, I had some canned fruit which might have been in light syrup, not fruit juice.  I've also had some jam: I know, I know, a little fruit and a whole lot of sugar.  I'll need to invest in some sugar free stuff.

Things that have helped when I've had the cravings: fruit and water.  I think that my body has been so dehydrated that I have been misinterpreting my body's need for water for a desire for sugar instead.  Between drinking more water and eating more fruit, I've been pretty good.  Nothing out of control, no huge headaches, no super cravings for a cookie.

Some tips I've received from friends, several of whom have done sugar free successfully!

  • Eat a lot a fruit and veggies- they taste better once you get off sugar!
  • Exercise away the craving (but nourish the body in other ways when you do it).
  • Use natural sweeteners such as honey and pure maple syrup instead. 
  • Chew sugarless gum.
  • Find a healthy snack to eat instead such as chips, popcorn, nuts, fruits, veggies, plain yogurt, water with lemon, etc.
  • Sugar free chocolate.  I need to find this.  
  • Reward yourself for progress!  I need to find something to reward myself with.
  • Make achievable goals (one sweet a day instead of two) and gradually get off sugar. (This is why I haven't been super picky- I know going straight cold-turkey no sugar would be awful.)
  • Fruit as a dessert was repeated by several people.  Peaches, apples, bananas- slice with a little cream or cinnamon.  Yum!
  • AND...  almost everyone said that if I can do it for one to two weeks, the cravings will dissipate!  No more sugar cravings!  I hope that's true!
Anyways, making progress with the sugar cravings!  Next week, I will try doing without even more sugary stuff- cut it out of salad dressings and stuff like that.  I had ketchup this week on some fries (super healthy, I know) and the first bite I took my reaction was "the ketchup is sweet"!  It surprised me to find sweetness even there!  I'll have to find sugar free stuff next time I buy some.

So, there is hope!  I'm definitely making progress, got some great tips, now just on to less sugar!  I can do it!