So, big announcement in my life! Big changes and such an interesting way that it came about.
Saturday afternoon, I got a call from a member of my stake presidency. Wanted to meet with me an my husband that night, if he could. All day, I wondered what he wanted to talk about, if one of us was getting a new calling, and what was going on. Kind of nervous all day, plus not feeling super because I ate something that I shouldn't have.
That evening finally came, and we met with him. As we talked, he told me about the miracles that came with this call, not just for me, but for the rest of the people that I will be working with. Eventually, after making sure that understood the commitment connected with the new calling, they asked me to be the 1st councilor in the Stake Primary Presidency.
The entire time we sat talking, every doubt I could have flew through my mind. Even as I accepted the calling, I continued to have doubts. I have very little experience working in the Primary- I've was the Primary pianist for around 2 months, and then I've been teaching Sunbeams for only a couple months. That's it. I've served in Primary for a total of 4 months before this. And they want me to be a leader for the entire Stake? How can I do this?
In addition to having little experience, I have no children of my own. I've been around kids like younger siblings and lots of nieces and nephews, but no kids of my own. What do I have to offer all these other leaders and people with so much more experience than I have?
And then I remembered a few things. First: Who the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies. While I have no amazing qualifications, I know the Lord will guide me. As I was being set apart, I was told to listen to the small promptings of the Spirit so I can pass those along to the president. And then later, as I was talking with Dan about it, he said I get a lot of those small promptings. Not something I would have said about myself, but to have that told to me from two different sources, reassured me and helped me gain more confidence in this calling. As I listen to the Spirit, obey those promptings, and act on them, the Lord will guide me and help me be effective in this calling.
I also waited for a confirmation that what I was doing is the right thing. Often, as I'm being offered a calling, I feel the warmth of the Spirit, and I know the calling is from the Lord and it's what He would have me do. As we were discussing the calling, I waited for the feeling, but it didn't come. I accepted the calling because I've been counselled to at various times in my life. I accepted because of all the miracles that had happened in order to get this presidency called. But I wanted my own confirmation. It wasn't until after it was announced, after I had been sustained in every ward, and was being set apart that I finally received that confirmation. I felt the Spirit tell me that this is the right thing, that the Lord will help me, and that everything will work out.
As I taught gospel doctrine over the last few years, one of the recurring themes was faith. Faith in the directions that He gives us, faith to do what He asks of us. And also knowledge that faith and prayers will not immediately be rewarded. If every prayer was answered right now, we wouldn't have to prove our faithfulness. Struggling with this all weekend was hard. I had no confidence in myself.
But the Lord knew I needed to struggle a little with this. I still struggle with this. This is huge. A huge time commitment, a big change from what I have been doing. But I needed something to change up my life. Not that life has been easy or boring, but this will definitely shake it up.
What I know at this point: miracles have happened to get me and the other sisters together into these callings. The Lord wants me here. The Lord will support us and give us what we need in order to help the children and leaders we will be serving. It might not be easy- it definitely won't be easy, but it will be worth it if we help any child, or a leader, grow closer to Christ. These points outweigh any insecurities I may have.
As I trust in the Lord, He will give me whatever I need to succeed in this calling. I love the Lord and am looking forward to serving Him.
